Regional Programme Development Advisor, SOS Children's Villages International, Regional Office Eastern and Southern Africa
The yearning of the child to go back. A story of separated twins
Going to work one morning in April 2007, I found Surafel (name changed for privacy reasons) walking wearily to school unaccompanied. Surafel is among those children who are labelled as a “problem child.” Surafel is a run-away child who uses every single opportunity to escape from the village. I decided to accompany him to school as it gave me the opportunity to talk to him and listen to his stories. I asked him why he was walking alone while the other children were going to school together with their friends. He replied, “I like to be alone whenever I miss my families (plural form, as according to the author in the African context extended families are considered family) in the countryside.” His response triggered my curiosity and I asked lots of question to further understand his situation. “Who do you miss most from your relatives?” Then Surafel dashed off to his classroom leaving me puzzled and unanswered.
I went straight to his SOS mother to discuss the matter in depth and I realised that Surafel dearly misses his relatives who live in a small town which is 461 km away from the SOS Children’s Village programme. After a thorough discussion with the programme management and review of the child’s care and development plan and related documents, we agreed to trace the family and engage them in strengthening their ties with Surafel.
When a child in the care of SOS Children’s Villages dearly misses his relatives
The Village Director, Surafel, four other children and I left the SOS Children’s Village for the child’s hometown. I was filled with joy when I realised that we were going to reunite Surafel with his families. Despite the gloomy weather lurking ominously outside the window of the vehicle that we were in, I smiled a big, happy smile. We arrived at Surafel's hometown in the afternoon, and we met the government social worker to help us trace Surafel’s families. We went to the small destitute neighbourhood in the morning to meet the relatives. When we arrived at the gates of the house, a small boy, who looked a lot like Surafel, except he was a little slimmer and darker, ran to us with joy and excitement. Surafel and this young boy began to cry as he hugged him with his wide and caring hands. Later, we discovered that the young boy was the identical twin brother of Surafel and we were all filled with tears and melancholy. As happy as I was to see the reunion of the twins, I felt sorry that they had been separated for such a long time due to the failure and dysfunctionality of the childcare and protection system in general and the gatekeeping mechanisms in particular. Another surprise came when Surafel’s aunt told us that she was the biological mother of the twins. I was perplexed at this moment as I know for certain that SOS Children's Villages does everything possible to keep biological siblings together. This is due to the fact that the organisation recognises the importance of the bond and attachment for the child's healthy development.
When only strong gatekeeping mechanisms foster the best interest of each child
When asked why she let the twins be separated, Surafel’s mother replied, “I was in a completely miserable situation by the time the SOS Children’s Villages and government people came to our village to identify children without parental care. I decided to give away one of my sons to SOS Children’s Villages and to keep the other one with me so as not to lose both of them at the same time. I deceived the social workers by presenting myself as an aunty of Surafel, who had no economic capacity to care for him any longer.”
This particular moment motivated me and the programme team to review the cases of other children and support reintegration of children back to their families of origin.
“Reintegration is a process of a separated child making what is anticipated to be a permanent transition back to his or her immediate or extended family and the community (usually of origin), in order to receive protection and care and to find a sense of belonging and purpose in all spheres of life.” (Guidelines on Children’s Reintegration developed by the inter-agency group on children’s reintegration, 2016)11
The process of reintegration takes time!
My learning from this story was that government, in collaboration with partners like SOS Children’s Villages, needed to strengthen the gatekeeping mechanisms in order to avoid unnecessary separation and placement of children in alternative care. We who work in the childcare and protection sector need to recognise the fact that nearly all children in care have a great yearning to be back with their parents on a permanent basis if the family situations improve.
From this story I also learned that we need to keep in mind that reintegration of children and young adults with their family of origin is a very delicate, sensitive and emotional process for all the stakeholders involved. Children may go through feelings of pain, guilt, shame and fear of not being loved. As such, reintegration is a process which unfolds over months, if not years. Over that period, the ultimate goal of reintegration is not just the sustained placement of the child with family members, but is instead concerned with the child being on a path to a happy, healthy adulthood.
As we facilitate reintegration, we need to prioritise family unity and be child-centred so that, for each child in alternative care, reintegration with the family of origin should be actively explored. What does that mean? If a child is in alternative care, other options must be regularly revisited. Further, we have to make sure that decisions are grounded in a child rights framework, enshrined by the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
High awareness of the role of a child’s gender in the reintegration processes
It is essential to have an awareness of the gendered nature of children’s experience. Girls are likely to face challenges such as rejection and isolation. We also need to embed reintegration in wider childcare and protection systems. As SOS Children’s Villages, we cannot work towards reintegration alone but must work with the responsible government authorities. It is essential to work with other stakeholders in the broader childcare and protection system, including community, families and children. Communities have a vital role to play in supporting reintegration and should be supported to do so. It is important not to consider children in isolation, but the dynamic between them and their peers, family, community and the wider environment as a whole. A community-based approach seeks to assist communities in supporting the most vulnerable children, by promoting social cohesion, strengthening existing capacities that will continue to be available beyond the life of the project. It includes investing in infrastructure and services that are of benefit to the wider community. Other children in the community who are vulnerable to a range of different protection concerns must be included. Community-based support can serve as a safety net for all the children who may need it.
It is also important to work with other systems, e.g. education, health, social protection and those supporting children with disabilities. We also need to put in place mechanisms to safeguard the child from discrimination, neglect, exploitation and abuse. Information should be stored and communicated in a way that protects confidentiality.
Reintegration is a long-term investment
Above all, reintegration support is not something that can be offered to children on a temporary basis, as it requires consistency and quality - all of which require a long-term investment in time, funding and resources. SOS Children’s Villages should devise exit strategies to avoid dependence on the services of the agency, and to promote local ownership of reintegration processes. We must not consider children in isolation, but see them included in their interaction with peers, family, their community and their wider background.
Eyob Berhanu Negash
Eyob joined SOS Children’s Villages Ethiopia in 2006 and loves his job as it gives him the opportunity to contribute to the well-being of children, their families and communities. He is a passionate development worker who always aspires to see social change in the countries that he works with.
Eyob is married with two lovely children - “A gift from the heavens and his treasures” as he says. In his leisure time he loves hiking, hanging out with his family and friends, playing with his kids, watching movies, reading and meeting new people.
Eyob’s home country Ethiopia is located in the Horn of Africa and is one of the world’s oldest countries with its capital Addis Ababa (“New Flower”), situated almost at the centre. It was among the first independent nations to sign the Charter of the United Nations, giving moral and material support to the decolonisation of Africa and to Pan-African cooperation.